Thursday, 24 March 2011

Fading Scars by Paige Day

This is the personal story of tragedy, strength, fear, courage and grief.

The concept of grief without a body and a funeral is difficult, but it happens. Not because an individual is lost to sea and/or unrecoverable, but because of an incident that changes the life of the injured and slowly-recovering forever. It is difficult to grieve for the person they were, and will never be again. This is that story, that very personal journey.

Mark and Paige became a couple, following divorces. They were given second chances at happiness and love. There would be hard work. Bringing together two families, for a second chance is never easy; family members, emotions, memories and alike that all need to be incorporated, included and tolerated is never easy despite how much you love the other person and the will to do so.

Together, they were now raising Paige's children with hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future. Wiped away, within, almost the blink of an eye. There is that moment of disbelief that what has happened has in fact happened. Being in that situation is dreadful, but to work within a profession where you see this happen to other people is worse. You know the drill, what will potentially happen, the next stage of the journey and the words of encouragement that will follow in order to give you hope. You stop being that professional and become the relative where you hope for a miracle that perhaps might not happen.

In this journey the injured survived, and the need for courage to continue as best as possible on the family path kicks in. The grief that the person, who once was has gone only to be replaced with a new version of a familiar person. Thinking of the domestic issues on a different level, the involvement and inclusion that are needed to ensure that the loved one still feels that they are part of the family process, without too much disruption. There is also the journey that the family left behind travel along. The stresses of almost thinking for both adults. It sounds easy, but is tough and needs courage, resilience and support.

The remembrance that the family includes children who need their Mum, need her reassurance and continued love. It becomes a balancing act, juggling all the different balls that occasionally do come crashing down then the guilt, and frustration that follows.

This is an incredibly powerful story that could happen to anyone of us. It is an emotional read and despite experiencing something very similar, but with a different outcome in my personal life I could identify some of the emotions experienced, the questions and guilt.

This is a journey that will travel with me for a while yet and two quotes that support the powerful reading are:

"That promise I made to my husband was going to be the hardest one I ever had to keep"

"Our family is my silver lining"

Small print - I reviewed this book having received an eBook from the publisher. I was not paid for my review and the review is my genuine opinion of the book.

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